Off The Beaten Path or: Strange Brews or: Dark Force DEIWS or: This "Or" Thing Is Becoming Rather Tiresome

During one of my recent brainstorming sessions (i.e. during a bout of sobriety), I concocted two new segments for this blog. The first I am calling "Off the Beaten Path." These articles will feature beers from countries not readily associated with beer culture. Essentially, I will discuss beers from places other than the U.S., Germany, Belgium and England, to name a few.

The second segment I am calling "Strange Brews," which is in no way associated with this. Please don't sue me Mr. Moranis--hey! A law joke! This Beerrister thing is starting to make sense. Anyway, this segment will feature strange beer styles or beers with odd ingredients from all over the world. Today's beer, oddly enough, could easily fall under both new categories. It's a Double Extreme Imperial Wheat Stout. From Norway. It is called Dark Force, and yes, there will be Star Wars references.

Dark Force is brought to you by HaandBryggeriet ("The Hand Brewery"), a very small brewery in a country far, far away (that's contrived Star Wars reference #1). The four Norwegians behind Hand brew on a very small scale in their spare time, which usually means the beers are made with lots of love. The bottle I enjoyed was from batch # 217 and brewed on 10.04.09 according to the label.

A million voices cried out in thirst, and they were immediately quenched (that's #2).

Wherein I Talk About The Beer
Dark Force is completely opaque and black in color. Pouring it into a glass creates a velvety brown head that is small but lasting. It smells of chocolate and freshly crushed cereal grains (I'm guess that's the wheat's biggest contribution, as dark roasted malts would overpower most of the flavor). It tastes of chocolate and coffee with a slight sweetness (perhaps the wheat contributed more than I thought) and there is a subtle nuttiness to the after taste. The stout is creamy, but not as viscous as some stouts can be. This lighter body suits the beer and makes it easier to finish the whole 22oz bottle.

Alcohol-wise, Dark Force chalks in at 9% ABV, which is pretty high for a stout. Of course, Dark Force is no stout. Its a DOUBLE EXTREME SUPER DUPER IMPERIAL [STAR DESTROYER] ALE. *cough* excuse me (and ding, reference #3). Even with such a high alcohol content, the rich maltiness completely masks the alcohol flavor with only a slight amount of heat coming into play once the beer warms.

There is one last important feature to this beer that must be mentioned. This beer has the rare distinction of being both the only D.E.I.W.S. in the world and the only beer ever to receive the Salacious Crumb Seal of Approval!TM LucasFilmCorpIncLtdSTDRSVP

"Eeeeeh heh heh heh heh heh!" - Salacious Crumb (ding #4)

Well, that may not be true (please don't sue me George Lucas!). Regardless, the brewers at Hand seem to think that Darth Sidious would love it (I'm counting it: #5).

The Verdict

• Cross "Norway" off your list and get a hold of one of these bottles. The flavor and aroma are so rich and delicious that you could (and should) enjoy this beer wherever/whenever
  
  
• To my knowledge, this is the only Double Extreme Imperial Wheat Stout in existence. That alone is reason enough sample this brew.
  
  
• The Beerrister is to be flogged until his shirt is soggy with blood for overuse of extremely forced Star Wars references.
  

So, fulfill your destiny (#6, now stop it. You're in enough trouble already). Give yourself to the Dark Side, er, Force (#7, ready the cat 'o ninetails). These aren't the droids you're looking for (#8 now that one doesn't even make sense!). Search your feelings, you know it to be true! (no, I'm not doing this anymore. END OF REVIEW, BEGIN THE WHIPPING).